Research shocks furry bigots

Scientists from York University have, today, released the findings of a major study into the genetic origins of common house mice from across Europe. As well as establishing a link between the migratory history of humans and rodents, the findings will be used in a special series of programmes for BBC2, aimed at tackling casual racism among British mice.

Benji Mouse, a common house mouse from Richmond, who participated in the first programme in the series, commented: “I’ve always seen myself as purely Mus musculus domesticus, British as the Union Jack. But it turns out there’s some Mus famulus in there and even some Mus mattheyi on my old mum’s side. At least that explains my brother Gary. Tight bastard.”

Dr Emilio Escargot, who co-authored the paper for the Royal Society, explained: “We’re not suggesting British mice shouldn’t be proud of their own tradition and culture - more that they should embrace the diverse mix of international influences which went into shaping it. Particularly in these uncertain economic times, racism is a growing problem among mice, many of whom believe they are only living in a dirty bin because all the swish council flats are going to Mus booduga families.”