"Sports fans" cry foul over volleyball fracas

Millions of sports fans were left confused and a little guilty yesterday, after a tense beach volleyball match between Georgia and Russia ended with the four women exchanging verbal barbs over the ongoing conflict in their home countries.

“When beach volleyball players start arguing, that only means one thing to me,” commented Gary McNiven, a 27 year-old quantity surveyor from Fife. “Part of me expected them to start wrestling and spraying each other with energy drinks, but another part couldn’t stop thinking about the profound geo-political ramifications of resurgent Russian nationalism, and what it might mean for fledgling democracies in the Caucuses.

“It’s just a good job they didn’t have to be separated by a burly lifeguard.”