Senior Conservatives have reacted angrily to an apparent return to “class war” tactics in the increasingly bitter Crewe by-election, after Tamsin Dunwoody’s campaign team distributed a leaflet portraying Tory candidate Edward Timpson as a top hat-wearing, silver spoon-sucking toff.
Lord Arligton, shadow minister for catteries and children, said: “This kind of tactic is an irrelevance in modern British politics. The warmth with which the Great British Public has embraced the shadow cabinet is proof positive that the class war is over. The fact that we all went to Eton, enjoy punting and sometimes accidentally call Theresa May ‘Matron’ is of absolutely no interest to voters.
“We are listening to the people, and what they care about is policy, not whether grandpapa was a Lord Admiral. Our calls for extra tuck on Wednesdays and a moratorium on towel-flicking – pending studies on its long-term effects – have struck a real chord.”
Although Ms Dunwoody was unavailable for comment on the controversy, a senior Labour Party figure has hinted that Gordon Brown is on the offensive, proposing to “fuck it all” and “re-nationalise everything as fast as we can”.
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