Actual proper scientific research has revealed Mac users are 82 per cent more likely to be “smug, rich and style-obsessed” than users of Windows PCs. The shock findings also confirmed that those who buy Apple products do so simply to annoy everyone else, rather than for their own benefit.
Prof Marcus Dunwoody, a real scientist with his own lab-coat and busen burner, explained: “We found that Mac owners were prepared to pay more for computers which don’t crash, are effectively immune from viruses and boast iconic industrial design. Furthermore, they often brazenly present Mac-ownership as a solution to those suffering from the shoddy security, poor performance and usability problems associated with marginally cheaper Windows PCs.”
But the tables are set to turn on the “hairstyled, pesto-eating Macistas”, according to Dunwoody.
“Just because the Mac platform has not had a single notable virus problem in 25 years should not be an excuse for complacency”, he cautioned. “It beggars belief that Mac users aren’t loading their systems up to the eyeballs with bloated anti-virus and anti-spyware applications, to guard against this hypothetical threat. With so many fashion-conscious designer gays inflating the Mac’s market share, it’s surely only a matter of time before the platform comes onto the radar of cyber criminals.
“We’ll see who’s laughing then. Bastards”, he concluded.
No comments:
Post a Comment