Christian leaders are up in arms at the news that a well-known group of committed evolutionary scientists had established its own religion, dubbed Rightism. The group, led by Reverend Professor Ralf Finkheimer, reacted strongly to the criticism, denying claims that the Rightists was simply trying to bring the scientific process into church by the back door.
“The church needs to accept that there is room for many different faiths in the world”, said Finkheimer in a statement. “Our children should be presented with all of the alternatives and allowed to decide for themselves.
“The bible presents us with one story to explain the history of the universe, certainly, and that’s a matter of faith. But Billy, the Magic Quantum Singularity, provides us with another, equally compelling and valid explanation.”
Although many of the group’s detractors have observed that its belief system owes a great deal to well-established scientific theories, including the Big Bang and evolutionary biology, Finkheimer remains adamant that Rightism is a legitimate religion.
“Our beliefs have absolutely no evidential basis whatsoever”, he confirmed. “If we were dealing in science, this could all be tested and disproved, but we’re not, so they’re just going to have to live with it.”
Celebrity Rightists include Lindsay Lohan, Nicholas Cage and Giant Haystacks.
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