The UK’s high street banks fiercely denied sleeping with your wife this morning, despite being caught running from your bedroom, wearing your dressing gown and furtively wiping their chin. After initially refusing to comment on the incident, the banks later released a statement, claiming that instances of sleeping with your wife remain at 2007 levels.“We understand that, under the circumstances, anecdotal evidence that we are having it away with your old lady – those sex tapes in her wardrobe, for example – might be taken to indicate some sort of trend. However, a detailed statistical analysis shows everything is absolutely fine and that you’re just being oversensitive for some reason.
This latest incident comes only a week after HBOS and Barclays were challenged over claims they could turn base metals into gold, which Barclay’s John Varley continues to insist he does “all the time – but not in front of anyone you know.”
