Anger as temperature rises at Home Office

There was trouble in Westminster today, as the main thermostat control at the Home Office malfunctioned, causing the temperature to rise to uncomfortable levels. Interns and policy advisers were forced to take regular showers to cool off, while other senior civil servants complained their regulation office-wear felt “so tight”.

The situation was only brought under control several hours later, following the arrival of South African HVAC engineer, Dominick Stullion.

Said Stullion: “When I arrived, there were several young women – from the counter-terrorism team, I think – towelling off their soft golden hair and moisturising one another. I reassured them straight away that I’d brought just the right tool for the job, but that just seemed to make them more agitated. It was all quite awkward, to be honest.”

This is the third time the building's heating and ventilation system has failed this year. The problems are being blamed on the installation last summer of a large open fire, hot tub and sauna.